mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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