I wanna bring you to show and tell
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
