I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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