In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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