A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
