My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
