some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
