hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
