omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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