Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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