She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
