Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
