Where is the hickey?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize