I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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