My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
