he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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