We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
