You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My vagina is officially offended.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
