Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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