I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Why are your pants in the freezer?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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