And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
