dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
