I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
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