i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
