bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize