I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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