Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
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We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
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I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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