the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Slut skills are useful in every country.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
