My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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