me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
