So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
