I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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