She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
They are going to name an STD after you.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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