Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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