What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
