Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I intend to get homeless drunk
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
