i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
