He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
