you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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