i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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