I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
