Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just gift wrapped bread.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
