Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
