Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I could make wine with my vomit
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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