whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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