Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
foreskin is a definite game changer
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
