it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
