I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
this is an emotional support booty call
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
