smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
