guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
