You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
