I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
