My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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